Justin's Birthday

What we had planned:
A dinner our with Grammy & Grampy tonight where they'd sing Happy Birthday to him. And a big Bob The Builder birthday party tomorrow.



What we got:
A trip to the doctor to get Sarah vaccinated b/c it appears Justin has the chicken pox. We had to postpone the party until the end of July (in case Sarah gets it 3 weeks from now.) Justin was fine most of the day, but had some moments where he cried a lot b/c he was hurting. Poor kid.






So, Justin received more presents than I had planned since we felt sorry for him. He loved the Thomas stuff he got and he went crazy over his playmobil trucks and people!


Happy Birthday Justin! I am so sorry it wasn't what it should have been.

A Look Back..

Justin turns 3 tomorrow morning.

Here is my trip back...

Dear Fisher Price

Thank you! Thank you from the bottom of my heart for making the crib acquarium. My kids both love it very, very much. And I have great moments with my children that revolve around your awesome product.

Sarah - Last week Sarah I heard Sarah talking in her crib after her nap. I decided to open the door a crack and spy on her. She was sitting in her crib, facing her acquarium. What I saw was such a precious moment to me. She reached out with her right hand and pulled down on the knob to watch the starfish spin around. Then she did it again. Then she lowered her hands and looked at the acquarium as the starfish slowed down. And then...then she made my heart melt as she broke into a huge smile and lifted her hands up and started clapping! I nearly scared her to death as I pushed open the door and ran over to her saying "I love you so much!" It was just such a cute thing to witness.

Justin - He will be 3 in 2 days and still loves the acquarium. He has it in his car bed, next to his pillow. Minutes ago, he started to cry very, very hard. I went into his room to see what was wrong. He was laying on his pillow, with his face inches away from the acquarium. He was crying and through the tears he told me that he didn't want this music - he wanted the "bump bump song." Again, my heart melted. I changed the setting for him and tucked him back in as he listened to the bump, bump song.

You made an awesome product! Thank you!

How the times change you

Wow, my son will be 3 yrs old in a couple days. Amazing how my life has changed during those 3 yrs.

I used to have a lot of interests. Now, I still have some interests, but my life is all about being a mom. Yes, some people say that is bad. They say you shouldn't lose yourself in your kids. Fine. I agree. And I try to have some other things to do and talk to people about. But - I am a mom and that means everything I do needs to be ok for my kids. They are my world. I am their world. I need to make sure they are safe and fed and changed and happy, for the most part. As a stay at home mom, I am the main person responsible for their physical and mental well-being. I have to be all about them. If I am not, who will be?



So, a lot has changed. I am their mom now. I spend my days thinking about them.

At first, Justin was small and I had a lot of concerns for his physical well-being. Justin was 5 lbs, 1 oz when he was born. He wouldn't eat. He couldn't suck on a bottle. Forget breast feeding. Wasn't possible for him. We fed him with a syringe. I cried while trying to feed him. The doctors told me to feed him every 2 hours. I would try to get him to eat 1 oz. It would take about an hour and a half. I cried. Then I cried more. Then a half hour later, I started all over again. Those were hard days for us. It didn't help that I had planned to breast feed him. I felt like such a failure to quit. But I just had no energy or time to pump. It was almost impossible to feed myself. I had almost no sleep. And then Justin went back into the hospital for jaundice. That helped a lot. I cried b/c I felt like a failure, but I was relieved beyond belief that someone else would now be responsible for trying to feed him. I will always remember the nurse telling me how to feed him. Then when she tried, she realized how bad it really was. She was shocked that she couldn't get him to eat. I was so happy that it became their problem to solve this issue.

Oh, how I loved my baby boy. He was so small and so helpless. As time went on, he grew bigger and stronger. When he was around 9 weeks old, he became very colicky. It was awful. I remember one day he cried for 7 hours while Mick was at work. I cried too. I held him in the recliner and cried because I once again felt so helpless. I told my mom that I had never met such a miserable baby. I was at a loss as to what to do. The next day we went to the doctor to talk to her. We put Justin on Alimentum. That day, everything changed. Justin became such a content and happy baby. He was so smiley and just loved life. That continues to this day!

I smile when I think back to how he was. Justin hated tummy time. Hated it! He never wanted to be on his tummy. And he hated being held towards someone's chest. He always wanted to be held facing out so he could look around. If you held him towards you, he would arch his back and look up to the ceiling, almost falling out of your arms. So funny.

And he was so slow to reach his physical milestones. I never worried about him. I knew he was fine. He just took his time. (I will always be amazed that Sarah is even slower than him to reach everything. I didn't think it was possible. But, she was 8 weeks behind him at pulling up.) Justin started walking a few days after he turned 16 months old.

Justin was always a kid who took his socks off. I could never keep socks on his feet. And he was a binky baby, who always wanted a binky. He was an early talker, talking well before he ever starting trying to walk. I had wanted to try signing with him, but it wasn't necessary at all.

Justin grew up to be such a great boy! I had to recently fill out a form for preschool describing his personality. I wrote "usually happy, easily excitable, very talkative." Yup! That sums up my boy!

He loves to talk and will talk all day long. Hmmm...wonder where he gets that? Surely not from his grampy and his momma. No...couldn't be! LOL
And he is so full of energy and gets so excited. People are always laughing about how excited he gets about the simpliest things. When we tried to bring him to church, we decided we didn't want to for a while b/c all Justin did was talk. He sat in the pew pointing to everything and telling us what he saw. He was so excited. He is always this way. If Grampy or Grammy come down to visit, he freaks out! If he sees Emily or Ian, he freaks out. He just loves life with all of his heart.

And I love him with all of my heart.

One of the interesting things with Justin is that he is so cautious. It took him a LONG time to warm up to lawnmowers, pools, sprinklers, the boat, etc. When he is scared, he is very scared. Last year he hated the boat. It took us a long time to try to get him to even go near the dock, let alone near the boat itself. This weekend we put the boat in the water and he loved every second of it. As we rode back to the camp, he was smiling and telling us "this is so great!" The fact that he was so scared last year made that moment so special. Maybe someday he will learn to like the bouncey bounce. Or.....maybe not. As he says "it's too loud." Oh well...good thing we own one. LOL



As he grows, my concerns change and grow with him. Now, I want to cry everyday about potty training. I know this too will pass, but it is my daily struggle now. Justin is so determined to stay in his diapers. I am at a loss with it right now.

Ahhhh..wait until he's 15. Ugh! The problem is that will be here before I know it.

Justin, I love you! Thank you for being such a great boy!

So what is the problem?

Why does everyone make you feel like your child needs to be without a binky? Why am I forced to feel like less of a mom if my child wants a binky? Why? Why do moms feel a huge sense of pride in themselves when their child is binky free? What is the big deal?

When my children were born, I forced the binky on them. I worked very hard to get them to be binky babies. Justin became very attached, and still has it for naps and bedtime. Sarah took some more convincing. For the most part, she only had it while sleeping. She seldom "needed" it. And, yes, I took pride in the fact that I never left the house with a binky.

Now she is 13 1/2 months old and she "needs" a binky. I have been fighting it, but only because of that stupid bad stigma attached to binkies.

Everyday Sarah has times when she is tired and cranky and besides herself. She is impossible to please. And we often just try to feed her or give her a drink to calm her down. Does it work? Not at all!

Suddenly it hits me - what is wrong with this picture? Why am I not just giving her a binky? Why I am feeding her more when she is chubby enough? Why not give her what she really wants?

So, lately, she has been getting a binky. And it is working. She calms down. She needs to suck. We took the bottle away over a month ago. She needs to suck.

I love my girly. And if a binky is what she wants, a binky she shall have!

She's turned around

It was so sad, but I turned Sarah's car seat around this afternoon. It was so strange to do so. Can she really be that old already? I tried to wait longer, but she is really starting to cry everyime we put her in the car. She tries to sit up and gets so mad that she can't see much.

So, she's turned around. I am sad to be giving up that part of her babyhood! But I am also excited to see how cute she looks facing forward!

And, on happy "Sarah is growing up" news, Sarah and I will be going to Kindermusic this summer! I am so happy! They didn't know if enough people would sign up, but I found out today that the class will be running. I am so happy to be doing something like this for Sarah. I hope she loves it as much as Justin does. For reasons like this, I am so excited that she is growing up!

Playing in the yard

After weeks and weeks of mostly rain....

We had sun!!!!!

He is growing up too fast!

As my baby boy approaches his 3rd birthday, I can't help but to notice that he is suddenly seeming so old to me. Suddenly, he looks old. Suddenly he is acting older. And suddenly I can trust him more. It is so strange.

Today we went to get his 3 year old photos done. It was amazing. He seemed so much older than when we went just 2 weeks ago. I could trust him to play and not run off. I could trust him to spin on the chairs without fearing that he'd fall off and crack his head open. I could trust him to not take everything off the shelves. And he looked so much older...



Today was so much fun. Justin was so well behaved. We ate pizza at the food court and Justin was in heaven. He spent the whole time watching the buses outside and thanking me for the pizza. And I told him about 20 times that he was just a great boy! He deserves to be told when he does something right and I tell him a lot lately that it is an honor to be his momma!



Was he born this way? Or did I just raise him well? I assume it is innate. But, wow, amazing that he could be so good. (Yes, he does have some bad moments. But the good outweight the bad by far!)

When he was a baby he was so good. Until the colic struck. Ugh! That was rough. But he was in pain. Of course he cried. Since then, he has had a great disposition. He is so happy most of the time. He is so easily excitable and has such a love of life. I have never seen anyone get so excited about the most little things. He is so much fun to have around. It truely has been an honor to be his momma! I just hope he isn't making up for all the grief he will be putting us through later. LOL



3 years! Wow! So much has changed in those 3 years. I have also changed so much in those 3 years. And I like to think that because Justin is such a good boy, I have changed for the better. If he had been tougher, I don't know how I would have handled this time. It has been tough enough and he's a good kid.

Justin is in My Gym. Mick & I take turns taking him to class. It is so much fun. He loves it so much. Last night Mick took him. Afterwards, it was so much fun to have Mick happily telling me all about it. Justin was so funny with so many things he said. He often makes the parents there and at music laugh very hard. The things he says are such a hoot. And last night during turtle time, Justin wanted to teach a song to everyone. Wish I could have seen it.

I love this boy! I just wish the time could go by slower. I don't want him to grow up so quickly anymore. I want to cry when I see his baby pictures!

Today's thoughts...

Sarah is crazy when the benadryl gets her! Holy moly! I gave her benadryl last night and she was awake until after 11. She was jumping on me and dancing on me. She was clapping and grabbing my glasses. She was crazy! It was funny. And it wasn't funny. I told her about 20 times that she was grounded for life b/c she wouldn't leave my glasses alone. It was insane last night at our house.

I know realize a big draw-back to being a sahm. I do love it and can't imagine being a working mom. But, now that he is almost 3 and we are talking about preschools, he is constantly telling me that he doesn't want to go because he wants me to be there with him. So, I did a good thing by being a sahm. But now I see the faults of being a sahm. He is with me almost 24/7. He doesn't want to leave me. This sucks. I love him so much. I hate that I did this to him. I hate that he is so scared to be away from me.

Our preschool dilemna and stress

Ok, seriously, if preschool seems to be such an issue, how bad will it be to choose a college? This is ridiculous!

I signed Justin up for our local preschool a couple months ago. I couldn’t have been happier to get him into the school. But now that he is so defiant about potty training, I am looking into other options. This preschool requires that he be trained by Sept. Oh dear God, how I wish my kid had a desire and all my worries were gone. But, he will tell me all the time that he doesn’t want to get rid of his diapers yet. I will now skip all the potty training crap I have been through. I have tried it all. But he knows he controls this and he is controlling it. So......

We went this week to a preschool that allows the kids to go in pull-ups. Awesome! We signed up as a backup. We loved the school. It was so nice and Justin had so much fun. I wish I had found it sooner. It seemed great for Justin. They even have a pond and he was able to go and feed the fish. Problem is - the problem is not solved. There are so many negatives to him going to this preschool. They only have afternoon openings. If he goes in the afternoon: he will be skipping his nap, Sarah’s nap will be shortened, Sarah and I won’t be able to do the activities we had planned to do while he was at school. So I am so torn. I spent 2 days so torn over what to do. Should I do what is best for Justin or what is best for Sarah. WTH? It’s only preschool.

I am back to praying that he is potty trained. If he is not, I will send him to this afternoon program and he will love it. But if he is trained, he will go to our local school and have a fine time, while Sarah and I get to go to Kindermusic and playgroup.

The stress. The worry. If preschool is this tough, how bad will it be to pick out colleges? I am not cut out for these kinds of decisions!

Time for pictures!

I caught some shots of my babies at the end of their naps yesterday:
And yes, Sarah does sleep with a blanket over her head.











Then we went outside to play: